Things That Suck

When we moved in back in December, the washing machine was broken. We used the Home Protect Warranty that came with the house to get it fixed & had the guy check the dryer while he was up there. He said the dryer vent needed cleaning.

I waited a while to actually make an appointment (which was dumb because that can be a fire hazard), & eventually a Groupon for a Home-Ventilation Package with Air-Duct Cleaning, Furnace Inspection, and Option for Dryer-Vent Cleaning popped up. It seemed like a pretty good deal, so we went a head & bought one.

Of course every good deal comes at a cost.

These guys (Deep Breath Air Duct Clean) sucked. Hard.

They wouldn’t take an appointment on a weekend (of course not, that would make too much sense!) so Andrés took a day off of work.

They cleaned the air ducts & dryer vent, but then blew all that dust they pulled out of the ducts BACK INTO OUR HOUSE.

Andrés actually told them to walk away from the mess they made near the furnace because their “vacuum” was farting so much dust back into the air.

When I got home from work that night, there was a coating of dust covering every surface. It was disgusting.

Then. Then!

The next morning.

We’re in the kitchen packing our lunches right before we leave for work when we hear a strange noise. We stopped moving so we could see where it was coming from. I walk around the corner, towards the living room, and stop right near the stairs that go to the first level. Right next to a huge vent.

There were distinguishable clawing sounds of an animal (squirrel? bird? raccoon? chupacabra?) that was trying to get out of the duct. We couldn’t see it with flash flights because the duct turns just a few feet in.


Andrés called Deep Breath Air Duct Clean & they were all, “We don’t open any access points to the outside, so nothing could’ve been left open.” Andrés mentioned the dust farting vacuum while he had them on the phone, the only thing they said was, “That doesn’t sound like our equipment.”

WHO THE FUCK ELSE’S COULD IT BE? Your guys accepted our Groupon for the Air-Duct Cleaning, Furnace Inspection, and Option for Dryer-Vent Cleaning provided by Deep Breath Air Duct Clean & then they diligently moved all the dust from the ducts & vents back into our living space.

One of two things happened: they are lying & the animal(s) got in due to their abundant negligence OR the animal(s) were already inside but were somehow missed in the inspection and were missed by our handy man when he patched the roof  & the vent cleaning disturbed them into an audible area of the house. Who knows? Maybe the animal(s) weren’t Deep Breath Air Duct Clean’s fault, but they’re still on my shit list for their horrific service & their apathetic customer service.

So now we have an exterminator coming on Saturday morning. It’s going to be like $300 plus $50 for each additional animal they find. I’m not paying them a dime unless I physically see each additional animal.

The good news is that since Deep Breath Air Duct Clean sprayed our carpets with dust, we decided to get a new awesome vacuum.

I picked the Shark Navigator Lift-Away Professional Vacuum because it has the highest rating on Amazon. A quick search showed we could get it from Bed Bath & Beyond so we headed over there with a trusty 20% off coupon & picked one up. We also started scanning things for our registry, which was lots of fun. (You can find the registry by searching either of our full names. If you don’t know our full names, then why the hell are you searching for our registry?)

This vacuum has been incredible so far. And our floors were filthy, apparently.

That was after just one floor & some steps. Multiply it by three. We seriously love this vacuum.

So those are all the sucky things going on in our lives. (See what I did there?)


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